Tommy Defendi: Tall, dark and gruesome

Photo: Fleshjack

We told you about the incredible phenomenon that is Fleshjack's Count Cockula vampire sex toy.

Well, since then, some bona fide porn stars have gotten bit by bug, er, sleeve, and we've got the exclusive photos.

Go Below the Belt to see Unzipped favorite Tommy Defendi give some vicious head to young Bobby Rail.

Stockroom.com presents...Lita Ford?!

In a bizarre but actually very cool move, Stockroom.com has teamed up with Lita Ford to release her new single, which will hopefully get her music out to a whole new demographic. Stockroom is the online destination for all your toys and fetish gear, so if they can remind kink shoppers of Lita's awesomeness, then this is a good thing.

The press release explains more:

In an innovative music marketing move, heavy metal queen Lita Ford will release a single from “Wicked Wonderland,” her first album in 15 years, on Stockroom.com, the world's leading fetish site, starting Monday, September 28th...It is believed to be the first time an important music release has been launched through a website catering to the alternative fetish lifestyle.

Apparently, Lita and her husband have always been a little bit kinky:

My husband Jim Gillette and I have carved out our own path to develop a wonderful and close family life,” said Lita.  “Though we're a long-married couple, we both have very active imaginations, including being kinky with each other, and that's what this album is about. It's sort of a sexual autobiography."

And for all you youngsters out there who don't know who Lita Ford is...watch and learn:

This could be misinterpreted

Here's a photo from this past weekend's Values Voters Summit. So much happened at this Summit!

First there was the revelation that all porn is gay porn, and now here's some gal pushing a Gigantic Cock Rings agenda. This lady is not kidding around!

We are going to this event next year. 

(TPM via Wonkette)

Adam Lambert simply does not care for dildos

The days of holding up your lighter are long gone, and the latest trend for concert goers is to throw dildos at the stage. After two minutes of horrific screeching (both from the fans and from Lambert) see your American Idol runner-up kick a flying rubber penis back into the audience.

Are the people throwing these things doing it to taunt Adam Lambert for being gay, or do they really think that he'll use their sex toys on himself? 

A Twilight dildo

First there was wine for gays, and now we have dildos for Twilight fans—Twildos?—who can't get enough vampire dick. Makes sense. Scientific studies have proven year after year after year that gays and vampire lovers are the two demographic groups with the most disposable income.

This phony phallus is called The Vamp, and it retails for under $40:

Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night. The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow...Yes, the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

Icy cold, lifeless, pale, pretend penises? Why not save the $40 and just break into a morgue and fuck a real dead person?