So Diesel Washington and Tiger Tyson might fuck

In what could be the most boner-popping and butt-destroying fuck session of the century, porn icons Tiger Tyson and Diesel Washington are calling each other out on their respective blogs, each of them suggesting that the other should be his bottom.

Take it away, Tiger:

OKAY FIRST TO MY DUDE Diesel Washington YO ITS BEEN YEARS SINCE IVE KNOWN YOU AND ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE AN UP STANDING GUY AND MY OPINION HASN'T CHANGED I WOULD LOVE TO DO A CALABO BUT YOU KNOW OUR DILEMMA IM A TOP AND YOUR A TOP AND YOUR TALLER THEN ME SO IMMA HAVE TO BEAT YOU WITH A BAT AND TAKE THAT ASS LMAO LOL OH AND IM TYEING UP THAT HOSE OF YOURS THAT SEAMS TO LOVE SPURTING OUT LIL GOLDEN SHOWERS ALLOVER THE PLACE AND EVERYONE IN YOUR WAY LOL...

SO IF YOUR READY TO GET YOUR BACK BLOWN OUT BY THE LIL SUPER DUDE...THEN TAKE EM DOWN 5 COULD ALREADY BE IN THE MAKING LOL HOLLA

All-Caps! Grammar! Why have I not been reading Tiger Tyson's blog more often? It is a gold mine.

While I've never labeled a piece of writing as "NSFW," I'm gonna go ahead and do just that with Diesel's response to Tiger. It's so NSFW, I had to post it after the jump. Hope you're not eating lunch.

Diesel Washington explains it all

That didn't take long. Yesterday we told you how a bunch of anonymous douchebag commenters were making a mess of Diesel's blog, and we wondered why the Grabby Performer of the Year would approve such garbage. We also lamented his retirement and wished for him to come back. Well, allow Diesel to explain:

Yes I really retired!!! And the reason why I let the hateful comments through was because People need to see the hate comments I get all the time(emails as well)so it was done for a purpose!!

My retirement, I will explain loud and clear!!!

OK, we hear you!!! Long story short (and it is a long one), Diesel is not interested in working for less than $3000 per scene, and apparently he is only hearing of offers for $900 per scene. You see, what Diesel does on-camera is art, and if you want quality work, you're gonna have to pay up. He ponders:

Should I work for the check instead of the art of making porn???

Philosophers have been asking that same question for thousands of years, so we understand Diesel's dilemma. He goes on to address several other issues in detail, but he saves his most heated remarks for his anonymous commenters, the "haters":

People that write Anonymous comments hating on me!!!..... U fucking guys are cowards!! Plain and simple, u have no balls and hide behind anonymous comments because Ur chicken shit!! Bah Bah Bah Bah. Its fucking stupid, U use all that energy to hate and write comments about me........so this time around I published all the comments, people have no idea how many hate on me.

That is an awesome and universally true paragraph that we agree with completely, and Diesel Washington is now our hero. If we had $3000, we'd let him come out here and do whatever he wanted to us, on- or off-camera.

Be sure to read the whole entry, which gets into matters involving Brad Star, Rodney King, and Michael Lucas that we are not going anywhere near.

Things that piss off Diesel Washington

We haven't checked in with Diesel Washington since he won the Grabby for Best Porn-star Blog and, goodness, we have so very much to catch up on. For starters, he has a new love interest, whom he affectionately refers to with the gender-neutral pronoun "they." For example, "They did go out and get Anal EZ (something like that, some gel shit) but I wouldn't do the butt plug thing or Dildo thing with them."

The Sword covered this "dating shit" extensively, but today we'll be focusing on Diesel's most recent entry, which lists the things that piss him off. People who wear sandals with socks are represented, as are "Gutterbunnies," but this opus is just too epic to put above the fold, so click through to have Diesel "bring that Fire to Ur Ass"!

"Reply All" e-mail function leads to hilarious porn star war, via e-mail!

At best, the "Reply All" e-mail function is used to update your whole office about the clogged toilet in the ladies room. At worst, it is used to inadvertently tell the whole office how much you hate that fat bitch Linda for eating the last donut.

Here at Unzipped, we have been thrust into our very own "Reply All" e-mail situation today, and it is getting heated. Or, "slow news day."

The participants in this epistolary exchange are some of your favorite/least liked porn stars, and some of them have been using Reply All to humiliate each other in front of all their other porn star colleagues on the e-mail distribution list, deliberately! This WAR started when Unzipped's own Ken Knox sent out an e-mail soliciting a gazillion porn stars for sex tips ("for the blog," he claimed), but instead of using the BCC button, he used the regular old CC button to address his contacts, meaning everyone could see everyone else's responses, if someone used Reply All. And someone did. That someone? Unzipped's perpetual frienemy, Michael Lucas!