Diesel Washington had sex with a bunch of teevee stars, got pooped on

There are many sentences from Diesel Washington's latest blog post to analyze, but, who has the time for this!? Oh, I do.

The post is titled "Integrity," and in it, Diesel admits that he has had sex with a variety of Hollywood Celebrities and Poopy Butt Porn Stars, but he will never name them, because he has Integrity. Obviously, he has left the hard work of "guessing" for everyone else, which we can do together after the jump...

Surprise! Queen Latifah is a big lez

Historically, there are three things that make your Unzipped editors laugh, sometimes hysterically, and they are as follows:

1. National Enquirer photo captions of horrible, trashy, and grainy pictures ("A delighted Queen (left) gets an eyeful as a stripper bares all").

2. Unnecessary censorship (how many strippers show their vag but cover their boobs? Duh. She's totally wearing panties).

3. That there are people in America who would find the news that Queen Latifah is a lesbian shocking.

Diesel Washington and Tag Adams want to be porn again

Is Diesel Washington a flip-flopper? Evidently, the recently retired porn star is already re-thinking his exit from the industry—that is if Tag Adams has anything to do with it. On last night's installment of The Derek and Romaine Show, both men appeared as guests with porn agent Howard "Fabscout" Andrew, and they made it very clear that they were willing to do a scene together.

Is Malachi Marx holding out on us?

Photo: Ken Knox

So, I was on Manhunt the other day (strictly for professional purposes, of course) and happened to stumble across a profile allegedly belonging to admittedly gay-for-pay RandyBlue sensation (and upcoming Freshmen magazine cover stud ) Malachi Marx.

WTF!?

What is a self-professed straight dude who's married to a woman doing looking (according to the profile) for "Meet-ups, Gym Buddy, Serious Relationship (if possible), 1on1 SEX"??? Is this just another case of porn stars claiming to be straight in their professional life while being gay in private? Has Malachi been leading us on this whole time? Will we ever be able to trust anyone ever again?

Well, we've got the scoop after the jump.

Examining the celebrity closet

Photo: Getty Images

Oh, look: Another obviously gay celebrity refuses to acknowledge being gay to the press. This time around, it's Ugly Betty's Michael Urie who's skirting the issue of his sexuality, using the time-honored excuse that outing himself would limit his ability to be thought of objectively as an actor. In a recent interview with New York Magazine, Urie said, "I'm interested in keeping -- you know, actors have to be able to do lots of different things, and while I'd say there's an ongoing theme [to the parts I play], I'm also not interested in having any real publicity about who I am and what my private life is and things like that. I'm an actor and I don't want to be a [fill-in-the-] blank actor."

While we certainly see Urie's point (and, for the record, we agree that every public figure has the right to conduct his or her career in the manner they see fit), we have to ask: When everyone pretty much already knows the actor is gay, does it do him—or his career—any good to continue denying it, or does it just make him look cowardly? After all, Urie identifies himself as "a member of the LGBT community" on his website, and has played a slew of gay roles outside of his role as uber-gay Mark on Ugly Betty: He starred as an emotionally numb homo in the 9/11 drama WTC View and is currently appearing onstage in The Temperamentals, an Off-Broadway play about gay activist group the Mattachine Society. Is Urie's refusal to publicly admit to being a cocksucker really doing anything to make people think of him as any less gay?

Of course, Urie is hardly the only public figure to find himself in the middle of such a debate. Let's examine a few other notable [alleged] closet cases after the jump and see how they stack up.

Look at all these porn stars we saw at L.A. Pride!

Photography by Ken Knox

Look, we have hard jobs. Take this past weekend's L.A. Pride in West Hollywood, for example. We had to stand in the blistering heat all weekend, taking pictures of nearly naked models and passing out free porn to hot guys from our booth in Erotic City. Boring, right?

First up are Channel 1 exclusives Blake Riley and Jeremy Bilding. They are quite a handful (two or three handfuls, actually), aren't they? Which would you rather lick: Jeremy's nipples or Blake's abs? Or maybe something else? Tough call. Anyway, Jeremy was seen go-go dancing at Here Lounge later that night, and then someone tried to break into his car. Note to dumbass thieves: Never cross a gorgeous porn star, it's just not good karma. Although, we wouldn't mind being punished by Jeremy, or Blake, for doing something bad. OK, enough of these two. Who else did we see?

"Reply All" e-mail function leads to hilarious porn star war, via e-mail!

At best, the "Reply All" e-mail function is used to update your whole office about the clogged toilet in the ladies room. At worst, it is used to inadvertently tell the whole office how much you hate that fat bitch Linda for eating the last donut.

Here at Unzipped, we have been thrust into our very own "Reply All" e-mail situation today, and it is getting heated. Or, "slow news day."

The participants in this epistolary exchange are some of your favorite/least liked porn stars, and some of them have been using Reply All to humiliate each other in front of all their other porn star colleagues on the e-mail distribution list, deliberately! This WAR started when Unzipped's own Ken Knox sent out an e-mail soliciting a gazillion porn stars for sex tips ("for the blog," he claimed), but instead of using the BCC button, he used the regular old CC button to address his contacts, meaning everyone could see everyone else's responses, if someone used Reply All. And someone did. That someone? Unzipped's perpetual frienemy, Michael Lucas!

Gay Matt Drudge says he's not gay, likes Judge Judy

Oh look, gossip boy Matt Drudge, famous for talking about Bill Clinton's cock and getting everything wrong about the 2008 election, is responding to this article in Out magazine, where he is acknowledged as gay, which he is.

When Out referred to Drudge as an “archly conservative 42-year-old" who "happens to love Chaka Khan, The Young and the Restless, and sex with men," and labeled his agenda as "anti-gay, anti-choice, and anti-tolerance,” the Internet link aggregator shot back.

Here's his e-mail to New York magazine:

“False. False. False,” Drudge e-mailed us. “I do not love sex with men. My site is not anti-gay. I present both sides of the anti-choice-life issue. I am not anti-tolerant! Except against big-government freaks. I liked Chaka in the eighties, and have not watched Young and the Restless in twenty years! But I do watch Judge Judy!”

In fairness to Drudge, his site is usually pretty pro-gay and is a great daily source of performance art. The links and pictures, while clunky and scattered to some, are actually strategically arranged and juxtaposed. Look closer the next time you visit the Drudge Report.

With that said, anyone who tells you that they "do not love sex with men" instead of simply saying "I'm not gay" is in fact gay. The end.

GayVN Weekend Night 1: Stumbling through the Castro

Photos: Zach Sire

I survived last night! Barely. Looking at Freshmen, College Dudes 24/7, and Jet Set model Adam Campbell (above) makes things a little better though. He was at a bar called The Mix, signing DVDs and magazines and showing off his impeccable body.

Last night's tailgate parties in San Francisco's Castro were full of booze, boys, and bad photographs taken by yours truly. But hey, at least the guys still look good, which is a testament to their hotness or something.

I started off at a "blogger party" (ha, nerds) at Lime, where there was an open bar. Yeah, you can see where this is going. There were some Bel Ami models there in the beginning, as well as representatives from Next Door Studios and The Sword, but where was Mason Wyler? He was scheduled to be there, but not until later.

You'll remember that a while back, Mason promised to go bowling with us, and I had suggested that we have a gang bang instead, so I was interested in meeting him last night to see if we could meet each other halfway. Don't ask me what the middle ground is between bowling and gang bangs, but something could have been worked out. Unfortunately, I was already on to the next bar before Mason got there, but I did stick around long enough to meet a cute guy with a stain on his tie, on whom I had a secret crush on for the rest of the night.

Hey! This narrative sure is boring. Let's just wrap this up with a couple more pictures and a rundown of who was where and what or who they were doing...

Is Mason Wyler a train wreck or what?

Photo: Channel 1 Releasing

Is it just us, or is Mason Wyler in need of some serious shoulder-shaking? The erstwhile porn star (and self-proclaimed "come-guzzling slut"—aww) has been causing a ruckus online with a series of blog entries that have garnered him a reputation as an attention-starved publicity whore who will say anything to shock people into paying attention to him. His most recent claim to infamy? Sending an outrageous apology via e-mail to several irate customers who paid him $50 or more in return for promised phone-sex calls and weekly updates on his vanity site, MasonWyler.com—duties which Wyler later shirked because, he said in the e-mail, he was too busy having bareback sex and passing out in sex clubs.

But wait, it gets better...