A treasure trove of Hustlaball photos that may or may not be NSFW

Photos: Wilson Models

Based on these photos, it's hard to know how these people were still alive the day after Hustlaball. But, let's give it up to them for looking so pretty and showing off their penises for us, shall we? Above, it's Aden Stone looking tight and hot, two people who I'm too dumb to recognize, Chi Chi LaRue, Tommy Defendi with way too many clothes on, Ryan Raz in a snazzy singlet, and Jeremy Bilding in pink.

There is so much more below...

This is why you're fat, and kinky

This is why you're fat has probably had much more disgusting and fattening food (if you can call it that) featured in the past, but never before have they served up something this trannylicious. It's the "Chicks With Dicks Sandwich": A hot dog, topped with cheese, mustard, ketchup and chicken nuggets! Get it?

I'd do it without the cheese, just because I'm trying to lose 175 pounds before Palm Springs Pride next month, but other than that, it looks perfect. Side note: Remember cheese-filled hot dogs from Oscar Mayer? The mind vomits. 

Eye Candy: Toss your salad

Photo: Jorge Alvarez

We all know that eating salad every day can get dull. Sometimes, one has get creative with the ingredients to keep things fresh and tasty. Photographer Jorge Alvarez is spicing up his salad with some juicy apples and sweet meat. But, it seems that he is going to be tossing his salad and model James Nyman's salad as well. With all that extra salad to devour, Mr. Alvarez may not have any room left for dessert.

Is this soda gay?

This past week, Unzipped Media's Secret Soda Operative, "Theo," introduced your editors to a fascinating new beverage that has quickly become all the buzz around the office, Diet Mtn Dew Ultra Violet. While the abbreviation of "mountain" in the name of a soda is sort of weird, we were able to look past this in order to experience what is potentially the most gayest soft drink we've ever had. Here's why:

1. First of all, it's purple.
2. It's diet.
3. When poured into a glass, tiny blue bubbles appear!
4. As The Unabashed Queer points out, "Ultra Violet" was one of Andy Warhol's discoveries in the late 1960's.

Like straight porn and Satan, if you weren't a fag already, this soda will make you one. Drink up!

Introducing "The Meatini"

What a delicious way to commemorate the end of summer—it's a Meatini! Yes, that's a glass made entirely out of bacon, and they've used pork meatloaf as a base. Inside, there's more pork meatloaf topped with scrambled eggs. I'd like to say that this offers the best of both worlds (meat and booze), but I don't see any liquor, even though it's called a Meatini. So, for full effect, doctor it up by dumping three or four shots of vodka on top of those eggs. Barf Appétit!

A treasure trove of Freeper reactions to that gay Ben & Jerry's ice cream

You heard about how you can get gay married in Vermont today, and how Ben & Jerry's introduced a sexy new ice cream flavor ("Hubby Hubby") to commemorate the occasion, but did you know that not everyone is happy about these gay weddings, and this gay ice cream? The wingnuts at Free Republic ("Freepers") are speaking out against this disgusting marketing ploy, and a collection of their message board comments are below. Warning: Timeless fudge packing jokes and hilarious puns are involved...

This is one horny piece of fruit

Everyone knows that the easiest way to sell candy is to make it sexy, so it only makes sense that candy maker Haribo would push its "MAOAM" (don't ask me how to pronounce that) line of treats by depicting cherries, lemons, and one seriously slutty lime engaging in a fruit orgy. Unfortunately, some boner killer in the UK is not pleased with this packaging, so he went and complained:

Simon Simpkins, a dad of two, said he was shocked at the "pornographic" poses when he bought Haribo's MAOAM sweets for his children. Mr Simpkins of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, told The Sun: "The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. "The lime, who I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face."

Haribo thinks its wrappers are just fine, saying that "The jovial MAOAM man is very popular with fans, both young and old."

Totally. Look at how much fun he's having!

And, don't worry, we're already working on having the MAOAM man as our next Unzipped centerfold.

(Via Dlisted.)

"Industry" returns, and dessert is involved

Jason Sechrest's popular porn star meet and greet, where you can get "closer" to the stars than ever before, is relaunching tomorrow night (Saturday, August 8th at 6 p.m.) at West Hollywood's Eleven Lounge and Resturant. Dinner, dancing, and debauchery are all on the agenda.

If you're in the area, we highly recommend swinging by for a drink or twelve, not just because you'll be surrounded by the likes (and the lap dances) of Lance Bennett, Beau Marcus, Sean Cody's "Dayton," and several other porn stars, but mostly because of the following tidbit, our favorite part of Sechrest's press release:

There will be a special gourmet dinner menu specifically for the “INDUSTRY” Saturday event with the new and improved “Porn Star Dessert,” now a banana split you can be spoon fed by the porn star of your choice.

Who could resist a feeding from Industry co-host Josh Griffin (seen above)?

See Josh and his other delicious banana here, and here's Eleven's website.

Chico's to gays: No taco-flavored kisses for you

If you can't kiss your boyfriend in a taco joint, where can you kiss? Two dudes were just kicked out of some dump in El Paso, Texas for putting their lips together:

EL PASO -- Two gay men kissed at a Chico's Tacos restaurant, prompting guards to eject them and a police officer to endorse their ouster.

Civil-rights lawyers say the security staff was out of line. Police, though, contend that a business such as a restaurant can refuse service to anybody, any time.

In all, five men were ordered to leave the restaurant. They say they were forced out by homophobic guards.

"It was a simple kiss on the lips," said Carlos Diaz de Leon, a gay man who was part of the group.

El Paso has a law banning discrimination like this, so it looks like Chico's will be facing a lawsuit. I hope they get taken for the whole enchilada (SORRY!). And, surprise, Texas police are proven to be bigots, again.

That being said, anyone who feels the need to eat in a restaurant that employs security guards probably has a lot more to worry about than just being asked to leave.

Is this old chocolate lady a homophobe?

Turns out Mary See may not be a fan of the gays. Looking at her face, she's obviously not a fan of glamour.

The See's Candies store in San Francisco's Union Square has been forced to close because it would not comply with the city's Equal Benefits Ordinance, which requires that businesses offer the same benefits for domestic partners as they do for married couples.

On the other hand, See's says that they do offer benefits to domestic partners, but taking on the "additional" benefits that the city requires would have forced the company to renegotiate all of its union contracts nationwide just to keep its San Francisco store in compliance.

So, is See's lazy, cheap, or homophobic? You can follow this developing story on, of course, Twitter, where people are adding links and constantly updating each other with news on whether or not See's is a friend of friends of Dorothy. Personally, their candy always gave me a case of the barfs, so, good riddance.

Here's the letter that See's sent to the city (click to enlarge):