Be A Dick: Hot for co-worker

Dear Dick,

What are the ramifications of doing it with a coworker? I work in a computer software business, and we have a new guy who just came on staff. He and I have become pretty close pretty quickly, and I know there’s sexual tension there. On a corporate retreat last weekend we shared a hotel room, and the opportunity to not only see each other undressed but also to do something about it was always hanging over us. We didn’t have sex, but I could feel him staring holes in me each time I dressed or undressed. I want to bend him over his desk and fuck him until we both pass out. What do I do?

Burning Up

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Be A Dick: International pool orgy a big no-no

Dear Dick,

My fuck buddies and I have been invited to a friend’s house in Eastern Europe next month to celebrate his brother’s birthday. It will be an indoor-pool orgy. We’re willing to go, but there is one big problem. His brother will be 16 years old. The male guests are 16 and 17 years old. My friends and I are 18 and 20. The age of consent in his country is 16. If we bring pictures and videotapes back to the United States and they’re souvenirs, are we breaking the child pornography laws?

Really Wants to Go

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Be A Dick: Hand to mouth orgasms?

Dear Dick,

As I’m sure you’re aware, some men take a long time to come. And as a dedicated, practiced, expert cocksucker, I take pride in my ability to help those men reach their orgasm. But I’ve found that some guys simply don’t seem to be able to ejaculate by oral stimulation alone. I’m perfectly willing to use my hand if necessary, but what’s an appropriate amount of time to let pass before I switch from mouth to hand? And what if the guy insists that he will eventually shoot from me dislocating my already-sore jaw?

Trying to Avoid Developing TMJ

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Be A Dick: Extramarital sucking

Dear Dick,

I have some contradictory things to tell you, and I need help sorting it out. I’m pretty closeted—none of my coworkers or family knows I’m gay, and only about three friends know. I’m also in a relationship that’s been going on for about four years. We say we’re monogamous, but every time he goes out of town on business (which is about once a month) I wind up out at the bars, and I end up sucking men off in the restroom stalls. I feel pretty bad about this. Any advice?

Nobody

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Be A Dick: Jack off irritation

Dear Dick,

Lately when I jack off without lube—my preferred method—I find that I’m rubbing one side of my cock until it’s irritated. Sometimes I even break the skin. This never used to happen. What should I do?

Chronic Masturbator

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Be A Dick: Does my family watch porn?

Dear Dick,

A representative from an Internet porn company recently saw an online profile I have up and messaged me, telling me they liked my ass and asked whether I’d consider being a bottom in a gangbang video? My boyfriend thinks this is a great idea and would love to see me take a lot of cocks on-camera. But I have one question: Would my family find out? As far as my profile shots go, those are locked down and available to members of the site only. So my mom won’t find those.

Wannabe Porn Star

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Be A Dick: Freakish amount of semen

Dear Dick,

When I ejaculate, it’s a freakishly large amount of semen. To top it off, I shoot quite a distance. In fact, spray might be a more accurate word. In other words, I deliver porn-style come shots. This is nice. I’m not complaining about it. But I have to ask, how do I get new guys I have sex with to take this seriously? I tell them that if they don’t want to be covered in come that they ought to stand back or get out of the way. They think I’m bragging and exaggerating, but when it gets in their eyes, they get upset. I know this question sounds ridiculous, but it’s getting to be a problem.

Old Faithful

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Be A Dick: Cock idiosyncrasies

Dear Dick,

My cock curves downward when I get an erection. Is there a way to fix this? It’s always been this way, but I’d like to experience sex from a new angle, if you know what I mean.

Steep Incline

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Be A Dick: Cock blocking bumps on penis

Dear Dick,

I had sex with a guy who has bumps on his penis. I asked him about them and he said he’d had them since he was a teenager and he didn’t worry about them. But should I? What could they be?

Weirded Out

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Be A Dick: Stop fucking "Yes on 8-ers"!

Dear Dick,

Political question here. I’m extremely left-wing in my politics, and I’m also very active in various progressive causes. And I have a secret. One of my best, hottest fuck buddies is a closeted gay right-wing Republican. I met him at a bar one night, and it was an instant attraction. Within minutes we were making out on the dance floor. And within the hour we were back at my place and I was fucking him until he screamed. Honestly, the fact that we’re polar opposites (I found all this out after the fact) somehow only made it dirtier and hotter. The sex we have is mind-blowingly awesome.

But I just found out that he voted yes on California’s Proposition 8, the one that eliminated the right of gay and lesbian couples to legally marry in this state. He sent me a guilty e-mail telling me that he felt he had to vote yes and then added he hoped it wouldn’t affect our sexual relationship. I don’t know what to say in response. Am I a hypocrite if I keep fucking him? Part of me wishes you could see the ass on this guy. It’s like nothing I’ve ever fucked before. He can take a pounding like no one I’ve ever met. Please tell me it’s OK to keep on nailing him.

Conflicted and Addicted

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