Be A Dick: Party blow job

Dear Dick,

If a man goes down on another man at a party or a bar and he does it in front of other people, should the couple’s audacity be applauded or are they simply inappropriate pigs?

The Guy Who Did the Sucking

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Be A Dick: Whorish past confession

Dear Dick,

I have a new boyfriend. We’ve been dating about two months now, and things are going very well. One problem: He’s incredibly uptight about sex. His body language is all crossed arms and his verbal cues are incredibly negative. Sex to him isn’t just dirty, it’s something we should all be ashamed of. I’m perfectly willing to be sexually involved with him and even to be monogamous, because that’s obviously what he’s about. But my question is about my own sexual past. I have one and he barely does. In fact, he’s been mostly celibate for much of his adult life, and I’ve been a serious slut. I went to a bathhouse for the last time right around the time we began dating and just yesterday he said, in regard to an unrelated statement by a friend, that he would never date anyone who’d ever been to a bathhouse. Do I tell him that I have? Do I tell him everything else? Am I setting myself up for a doomed relationship if I do or if I don’t?

Confused About Confessing

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Be A Dick: Auto-fisting?

Dear Dick,

Is it possible to fist-fuck yourself? I’ve read about guys doing it and I’ve tried to do it several times myself but haven’t succeeded. Is fist-fucking oneself like sucking one’s own cock—something that can be done only by a lucky few?

Aspiring Puppeteer

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Be A Dick: Public restrooms

Dear Dick,

I love cruising public restrooms. I know it’s old-fashioned and dangerous, and I know that there’s the Internet for hookups, but I can’t help myself. I love the rebellious act of using a public space to get off in. I love the nervous energy of the other guys who are there cruising too. I love showing off my cock at a urinal (I’m big), and I love the quick, dirty, blow jobs I get after showing it off. The downside is that I’ve been arrested twice for public lewdness. I don’t really care about that. It’s not like I’m running for senator anytime soon, so fuck the laws. My problem is that my friends think it’s gross, and they’re all judging me for what I do. How do I tell them to shut up? It’s my life, isn’t it?

Toilet Guy

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Be A Dick: I fucked a movie star

Dear Dick,

I live in Los Angeles and recently had sex with a closeted movie star. We met at a gym where lots of celebrities work out. I pretended not to know who he was, and it went from there. I gave him my number and e-mail in case he wanted another round, and from his moans while I fucked him, I think he’ll be coming back for more. If he doesn’t, can I take this story to the tabloids and make some money? And how long should I wait before I do that?

Ass, Grass, or Cash

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Be A Dick: Rim refusal

Dear Dick,

My boyfriend loves to have his ass eaten. It’s not a demand so much as a wish. He also loves me and knows that I can’t really bring myself to put my tongue down there, so he doesn’t bug me too much about it. The problem is, I really want to please him sexually in as many ways as I can. I don’t want to be selfish. I tried rimming him once. He’s exceptionally clean, so the usual stuff you might think would be an issue isn’t. But when I got down there and started doing it, I just kept thinking that it’s inherently dirty to put your tongue on someone’s ass hole. It is, right? Or am I being too prissy?

I Kiss Mouths Only

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Be A Dick: Tenacious crabs necessitate shave

Dear Dick,

My boyfriend recently got crabs from having sex with one of his fuck buddies. We have an open relationship, so the sex he had isn’t the problem. The problem is that my boyfriend is very, very hairy. He’s bearded and has a hairy chest, arms, legs, ass and back. The crabs keep coming back no matter how much of the medicine he uses. I don’t have them yet, but I’m worried I’ll eventually get them unless he goes through that most drastic step: shaving everything off and starting over. He refuses to even consider this option. What do I do?

Smooth and Scared of Bugs

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Be A Dick: Youthful fuck is perfectly healthy

Dear Dick,

I’m 38 and recently found myself cruised online by an 18-year-old guy. We hooked up, the sex was amazing, and over time we became regular fuck buddies. Now my feelings have deepened, and I think I have a crush on him. Is it ethical to date a man half your age?

In Love With a Barely Legal Man

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Be A Dick: Kiss on, kiss off

Dear Dick,

Can you explain to me why some guys won’t kiss you while you’re having sex? I was recently picked up in a bar by this immensely well-hung guy who took me home and let me suck on his cock for about two solid hours. But every time I tried to change it up a bit and went to kiss him too, he pulled me off and back down to sucking his dick. What was that about?

Like Lips

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Be A Dick: Sex makes you human

Dear Dick,

Do I need to give up fucking around to find a boyfriend?

Time To Be Good?

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