21st Century Proverbs: Barack Obama

"(Chief campaign adviser David Axelrod) and I have been together for a long time. I can still remember ... that day that I called Ax so many years ago and said, 'You and I can do wonderful things together. And he said to me the same thing that partners all across America are saying to one another right now, 'Let's go to Iowa and make it official.'"

—President Barack Obama joking at the White House Correspondents' Association Annual Dinner, May 9

(quoted by the Bay Area Reporter Online)

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21st Century Proverbs: Mandy Moore

"I was just shocked that she even knew that I existed in the world. She knew my name—she was like, "Hey Mandy!" She knew that I was like a creepy stalker fan, but she was still very nice to me. So if that makes me a gay man, I'm cool with that."

—Mandy Moore is obsessed with Bette Midler

(to Out)

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21st Century Proverbs: Paris Hilton

"Gay guys are more fun and they dress better. And they’re usually hotter. All the hot ones are gay."

—Celebrity oddity Paris Hilton, on why gay boys float her, um, yacht

(to Out)

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21st Century Proverbs: Gene Simmons

"It’s possible for a man to be monogamous. It is also possible for us to hold our breath, but not forever."

—Gene Simmons (to Blender)

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21st Century Proverbs: Jennifer Tilly

"They appreciate my sense of humor, and they appreciate that I really make an effort to look like a drag queen at any given time."

—Jennifer Tilly, on her appeal to gay men (to Out)

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21st Century Proverbs: Connie Hamzy

"For a white guy, Huey Lewis has got a huge cock. Huge. And Peter Frampton has the smallest. Poor guy—it’s a tiny little thing.”

—Legendary groupie “Sweet Connie” Hamzy, who is mentioned by name in Grand Funk’s 1973 classic “We’re an American Band” (to Spin)

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21st Century Proverbs: Tommy Lee

"The first thing I do is check out a woman’s toes, and I could never go there. She doesn’t have pretty feet."

—Tommy Lee, on why he wouldn’t date Paris Hilton

to MTVNews.com

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21st Century Proverbs: Lily Allen

"I find him quite annoying…as a gay man you should be championing young girls that are going out there and doing their own thing and not slamming them for owning their sexuality and calling them sluts."

—Lily Allen, on her feud with Perez Hilton, to Gay Times (UK)

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21st Century Proverbs: Tim Gunn

"I haven’t been on a date in 26 years. So no, I have no relationship. I’m not even remotely looking. To have a relationship would require time. I don’t have any time, so it wouldn’t be fair to someone else. It might sound selfish, but I’m very happy being alone."

—Tim Gunn, to OK!

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21st Century Proverbs: Sharon Osbourne

"If [your] husband isn’t getting a blow job when he’s on tour in Canada and you’re in bloody England, he’s either gay or a mutant."

—Sharon Osbourne, to Blender

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