Ted Haggard would like you to come over to his house, for "church"

I've been addicted to fucktards and their Gods the past few days, so let's close out the week (I won't be here tomorrow!) with a charming Ted Haggard story. Bitch is opening a new church. In his living room.

Let us parse:

“We wanted to do something in our house to connect with friends,” said Haggard.

Ted Haggard wants to meet some new dick.

Haggard will hold his first gathering, open to the public, at 7 p.m. Nov. 12 at his house at 1865 Old Ranch Road.

Google map that shit and rent a car. Go there, to Ted Haggard's house on Old Ranch Road!

He referred to it as a “prayer meeting” but said it would also be correct to call it a church.

It would also be correct to call it a Craigslist PnP fuckfest with wrinkly old married men, at least one person on parole, and someone who doesn't speak English. (Personal experience.)

Haggard anticipates that 10 to 20 people will show up for the evening of music and prayer...

Ted Haggard is HONGRY. Music and prayer = Meth and poppers.

“For this prayer meeting, I have no goals,” Haggard said. “I have no secret hope that more people will come. I am not driven as I was. Before I focused on the Great Commission. Now I focus on helping other people.”

Typical bottom.

“I am much more compassionate, more kind, more patient,” he said. “I’ve learned that God is sovereign, and the number one thing we should do is trust him.”

And, trust that invoking His name, to any poor schmuck who will listen, will starting bringing in that ca$h.

While Haggard isn’t sure where his first gathering will lead...

Ha! Wanna bet?

...he has no doubt about the first hymn to be sung: “Amazing Grace.”

Fag.

Comments

[JANORM]

Gimme A Fucking Break!! NJMJr!