Breaking: Gay sex leads to Swine Flu

OMG:

Avoiding masturbation and homosexual activities are among preventive measures one could take against Influenza A (H1N1), according to an eminent practitioner of complimentary therapy.

Dr. V. M. Palaniappan said that such activities caused the body to develop friction heat which in turn, produced acid and made the body hyperacidised.

"Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection," he told Bernama, emphasising however, that normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe.

Well, of course.

Note: The linked article comes from the Malaysian National News Agency. And...wait for it...gay sex is illegal in Malaysia.