A Twilight dildo

First there was wine for gays, and now we have dildos for Twilight fans—Twildos?—who can't get enough vampire dick. Makes sense. Scientific studies have proven year after year after year that gays and vampire lovers are the two demographic groups with the most disposable income.

This phony phallus is called The Vamp, and it retails for under $40:

Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night. The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow...Yes, the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.

Icy cold, lifeless, pale, pretend penises? Why not save the $40 and just break into a morgue and fuck a real dead person?