Things that piss off Diesel Washington

We haven't checked in with Diesel Washington since he won the Grabby for Best Porn-star Blog and, goodness, we have so very much to catch up on. For starters, he has a new love interest, whom he affectionately refers to with the gender-neutral pronoun "they." For example, "They did go out and get Anal EZ (something like that, some gel shit) but I wouldn't do the butt plug thing or Dildo thing with them."

The Sword covered this "dating shit" extensively, but today we'll be focusing on Diesel's most recent entry, which lists the things that piss him off. People who wear sandals with socks are represented, as are "Gutterbunnies," but this opus is just too epic to put above the fold, so click through to have Diesel "bring that Fire to Ur Ass"!

As usual, we refuse to edit any of Diesel's prose, so what you see here is exactly what you'll get on his blog.

First up, fashion:

People who wear socks with sandals(I know that is the style somewhere)but come on people. If Ur going to wear socks with sandals, u might as well wear shoes or sneakers, Maybe I am the only one that feels this way.

Skinny Jeans...Okay!! I have said before I like them, because they are form fitting.. But I don't understand skinny jeans, that are tight on Ur legs and calves but people wear them sagging off their ass... While It does show off Ur ass(Yummy). I cant help think "How Do ya wear tight pants and they still sag off Ur ass?????"

Skinny Jeans again but skinny jeans on Fat People????? That bugs me out. their gut is hanging over their belt...

Don't hate, Diesel. You never know, you might be able to incorporate all that extra skin into a new fucking position. "Belt Buster"? "Gut Fucker"? Think about it.

Technology:

People who Text or Twitter while driving!! I mean don't we have laws against using Ur phone while driving????

Twitter I hate that shit!! I can't do it!! Let me break it down to the fans. U all should know what Twitter is. But get the Noun and Verb action, Twitter (the Noun) and when Ur on Twitter, U tweet (the Verb) and get tweets(i guess that would be a noun LOL) I cant believe this shit. I cant do it!!

Can you imagine Diesel on Twitter? On second thought, don't. You need to save whatever is left of your brain for the rest of this post. And yes, you read that right. Diesel just schooled your ass in grammar. P.S. Follow Unzipped on Twitter!

Hygiene:

People who blow their boogers from their nose into the sink(Common Area sink), that is some nasty shit!!! U know who u are!! Use a napkin or do the Booger Plucking method..

So, if you do it in your own private sink, it's alright? And, simply because it bears repeating, "Booger Plucking method."

Next up, Gutter Bunnies:

Gutterbunnies (U know this already)

Uh...

Finally, something we can all relate to:

This one is for the Sluts and Pigs, Don't U hate when u go to the bathhouse or sex club and u find the guy that u want to hook up with. U make out and fool around in public(granted its in public)there is always some guy that watches(staring at u guys) and cant keep their hands to themselves, and wants to join in the action. U have to say" Yo get the fuck outta here man, We want some privacy" Fucking Asshole!!

Hard to argue with this one. But if you really want to shoo these people away, why not try blowing boogers from your nose at them?

There is much, much more, at Diesel Washington's award-winning blog, so go read it. We'll close with a Diesel-ism that we say every day, and that we insist you start using as well in all of your conversations: Bah Bah Bah.