"Reply All" e-mail function leads to hilarious porn star war, via e-mail!

At best, the "Reply All" e-mail function is used to update your whole office about the clogged toilet in the ladies room. At worst, it is used to inadvertently tell the whole office how much you hate that fat bitch Linda for eating the last donut.

Here at Unzipped, we have been thrust into our very own "Reply All" e-mail situation today, and it is getting heated. Or, "slow news day."

The participants in this epistolary exchange are some of your favorite/least liked porn stars, and some of them have been using Reply All to humiliate each other in front of all their other porn star colleagues on the e-mail distribution list, deliberately! This WAR started when Unzipped's own Ken Knox sent out an e-mail soliciting a gazillion porn stars for sex tips ("for the blog," he claimed), but instead of using the BCC button, he used the regular old CC button to address his contacts, meaning everyone could see everyone else's responses, if someone used Reply All. And someone did. That someone? Unzipped's perpetual frienemy, Michael Lucas!

Here is the gist of your editor Ken's original e-mail:

Hey guys, we have been running weekly features, Porn Star Sex Tips, in which you guys give us your advice on how to be a great top, a great bottom, a great flip-fucker or a great whatever the hell it is you like to do in bed. If you can find a little time, put together about 200-300 words about any sexual topic you want and tell our readers how to be the best at it. Thanks!

Unfortunately, everyone's favorite New Yorker, Michael Lucas, was simply not interested in receiving this filthy spam, so he "replied to all" with the below request. And thus, it begins.

"Dear Ken,
Can you please take me off your mailing list? thank you."

This is a fair enough question, but did Lucas mean to include everyone in his response? He's not the type to cause a scene, so we will never know.

But then, out of nowhere, Collin O'Neal had a question of his own, for everyone:

 

"How about the question: Who thinks Michael Lucas is a douche bag that promotes indiscriminate killing of Muslims?"

Ouch. We should mention that Collin attached some pictures to this e-mail of, ummm, dead Muslims, which was probably unnecessary!

Then Michael Lucas was all:

 

"Darling
I thought you are out of busines........"

Oh, snap. Insulting someone using both the past and the present tense? Harsh.

Jumping right into the mix, Matthew Rush chimed in:

 

"Hey this could be better than my Twitter explosion!"

Well, maybe. But aren't there any other Matthew Rush moments that we could compare this to? HMMM...

Back to Collin. Take a deep breath:

"Not before I humiliate your silicone face into the Dead Sea for being a right wing politically inept retard for calling me an anti Semite and letting everyone know your are connected to Sean Michael Kirkham and that bitch Paula Frolich.

(Ed: Who? Oh.)

If anyonne, your are an anti Semite for leaking the story about Roman Regazzi to Page 6. If you think I am stupid and did not realize you entrapped him into admitting he worked for the Israeli Consulate while working for me in porn you have another thing coming. You only did it because you think you own NY and think because Roman is an Israeli that he lives in NY that he would work for you for $400, you are truly stupid. Sorry, but the "anti Semite" Collin was the first person Roman went to because we had a long term friendship that transcended to "Jewish" connection.

Don't worry "darling," when I am ready I will have my celebrity friends trash your celebrity wannna be self to Paula. Who do you think Paula has allegiance to? Real celebrities or faux wanna be celebrities like you that will never be more than a low class hooker? Isn't that how you we're brought to America in the first place? DARLING!"

Why is Paula Abdul fucking Roman Heart???

Oh, look, Zak Spears!

"Ken i love you but you REALLY need to use BCC Please"

Then Michael Lucas was all like:

"First off Collin, I know you are on hard times and probably verystressed and just reaching for someone to drag down with you--butplease carry yourself with a bit more maturity.

Roman is areally good man, I don't know why you are bringing him into yourdramatics. I would never sell him out and turn him into to page 6, thatis really absurd. I know the full story of how you got him to work foryou, and to say "he came to you" to do porn is really laughable. Youexploited him and released the info for you own PR, good for moviesright? Well I don't use those tactics. Have more dignity Collin.

As far as Sean Michael Kirkham and Paula Frolich, in all honesty I have no clue who these people are."

Sean Michael Kirkham and Paula Frolich, whoever they are, will pay for this, and they will be held accountable for these e-mails, this blog post (which is 1000 words too long), and dead Muslims.

(By the way, we're not even mentioning the Twitter posts about this from Nash Lawler and Steve Cruz, or the e-mail that Collin O'Neal broadcasted to his own porn press list this morning to alert them of just what a doll he thinks Michael Lucas is, because that would make this post 1200 words too long.)

But who will have the last word in this terrible thing that you have wasted your Friday afternoon on?

It's Logan McCree! Will he be the voice of reason in all of this? Let's see:

"Hi Friends and colleagues

First of all i want to apologize for my english...its not my mother tongue.

Just like in every other business some people dont get along very. Everybody has a right to have their own opinion and sometimes these opinions collide. I can understand that some people are angry about things, other people did. But i dont think it is appropriate to fight these fights in public or via spam mail.

If some of you have a problem with each other, please solve them as adults or try to avoid each other.

I never had a problem with any of you guys and i dont want to be involved in your personal, political or religious wars.

I dont need other people to tell me whos a nice guy and whos not.... I prefer to make up my own opinion.

Thanks, Logan McCree

p.S. i really like you guys!!!!"

Whoa, Logan, lose the attitude!

Comments

[DPdude]

DF and DK are still the Kings of the Reply All wars that started weekly back in the early 00's.

[Reason]

What a bunch of fucking moronic whores.

[Bakely]

The only porn star who can spell is the one who speaks German as a first language. What an embarrassment.

[Serbo-Canadian from Macau]

What's the problem some of the "commentators" have with "Logan"?? The fact that he treats the emotionally (and probably also intellectually) severely retarded with a hint of condescension?

How else could one possibly treat anyone in a Yank "culture" of being forever mentally 15 year old?

[Queenie]

The thing is, Logan was the only one who was sane and sweet in this whole fight, hence the tongue-in-cheek "attitude" remark. Too funny!

[mike]

bitches!

[Spike Ghost]

HA! this Logan has good sense :P
that Lucas guy seems like a moron though.

[KentCole]

Michael's response was mature and professional. I don't see why this is hyped? Logan is a funny dude though.

[bizbelle]

i was on this cc email fiasco...although i see not all of what lucas said is published here...i like how he ended the email. you should have not cut it off.

[Nonbreeder]

Well..I guess it must say something about me...in that I truly appreciated Collin's email the most. That's how it's done. Faye Dunaway couldn't have said it better.