Aide to Pennsylvania state senator arrested for trying to have "furry" sex with teen boy

Luckily, this doughy freakazoid named Alan David Berlin (yes, that's a dude) didn't get away with anything, which of course means that we can now laugh at him, right? Right.

So, what did this bespectacled conservative—who was a staffer for a Pennsylvania state senator known for, wait for it, her tough stance on sex crimes—do over the Internet?

In a series of instant messages and online chats, Alan David Berlin, 40, of Carlisle, discussed dressing up in animal costumes and engaging in various sex acts with the [15-year-old] boy, the state attorney general's office said yesterday.

After years of Dateline: To Catch A Predator, these awful pigs just keep on truckin', oblivious to the fact that everything they say online is probably being monitored, especially when they are a 40-year-old man talking to a teenager about sex, on the Internet. Why are pedos so dumb? Of course, it might be a good thing that these goblins are stupid enough to do their crazy talk in public where people can easily catch them. Prep your barf bag:

According to the criminal complaint, Mr. Berlin proposed traveling to the boy's home in Harrisburg, about 20 miles from Carlisle, and having sex in the backyard and in a shed on his parents' property.

Investigators believe Mr. Berlin and the boy met on an Internet site for "furries," an online community of people who adopt half-animal, half-human personas.

In one message, according to the complaint, Mr. Berlin requested pictures of the boy and wrote, "When will your folks be out?"

Other messages describe various sex acts in explicit detail and refer to "yiffing," which is a "furry" term for having sex.

Mr. Berlin used the screen name "alan_panda_bear" in his messages. He also used that name for an online personal ad that depicts cartoonish panda bears, one wearing a diaper.

"I'm a Daddyfur and Caretaker and I am looking for a babyfur to be my mate and my companion in a long-term committed relationship," the ad says. "I am a hopeless romantic and very affectionate, freely giving hugs, scritches, cuddles and kisses."

Enjoy prison, Alan David Berlin! We hear there's tons of cuddling there.