Get drunk and have better sex

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Evidently everything we've heard about the relationship between alcohol consumption and limp dick is wrong. According to a study of 1,580 men from Western Australia, drinkers had up to 30 percent fewer problems with erectile dysfunction (aka "brewer's droop") than non-drinkers.

The study revealed that those men who drank within "safe guidelines" appeared to have the best erectile function, though it also showed that even sloppy drunks had lower rates of erectile dysfunction than non-drinkers (better known as prudes, self-righteous health nuts and AA members).

The doctor who led the study, Dr. Kew-Kim Chew from the Keogh Institute for Medical Research, reported that men who have up to four drinks a day for up to five days a week, were more frequently able to "bone up," while former drinkers, smokers and those with heart disease more often suffered from "soft syndrome." 87 percent of the participants in the study said that they were current alcohol drinkers.

The study seems to be in contradiction to the widely held belief that drinking causes limp dick, so how come more often than not most of the drunk guys I bring home from the bar end up passed out next to me while I jerk off watching a porno movie? Maybe when it comes to drinking and sex, no one can hold a candle to Aussie men. Hmmm, sounds like it's time to book that trip to Syndey I've always been talking about... G'day, mates!